Look, beauty isn't pain free all right - I mean, we've all heard that adage that "pain is beauty". So next time you are with the girls, bitching about a day spend wearing measly three inch heels to the office all day, read on about some shoes that will really make you cringe. Anyone who could survive a day - or hell, even an hour! - in some of these shoes deserves a medal of bravery and toughness. When it comes to pain is beauty, One hitter pipe that is a motto that you will have to chant to yourself all through the night, should you choose to wear one of these beauties.
#1: Banana Peel
How cute, right? A pair of shoes designed to look like a banana peel! They certainly are cute, and I could think of a number of things that these would, in all seriousness, look pretty cute with, but my question is, how do you keep them on? Most slip ons are known for their comfort but I think you'll be lucky just to keep them on your feet, comfort is surely out of the question.
#2: High Tide Heels
For the beach babe who wants to show her love for diving, why not wear a pair of heeled scuba diving shoes? I mean, even those these are probably some of the most awkward shoes to walk on land with as it is, why not take a challenge? You can show you love of the surf, while also showing your bravery and toughness too.
#3: Ballet Heels Gone Wrong
Cringe. I can hardly bear to watch ballerinas do that whole "standing on the tip of their toes" thing, and this is a shoe that requires just that, all night. And did you notice the five inch heel too? I almost just cannot look at the picture. I can imagine putting them on, perhaps sitting around in them, but I'm not sure I could manage a single step.
#4: Claw Shoes
You are a bad ass broad, so show the world it! These open toed - literally - shoes wrap to the knee and are, um, punctuated by a fairly scary looking metal claw whose tip points right at your heel. Wear with extreme caution.
#5: Off the Ankle
Sometimes what works in clothing fashions, well, it only works in clothing fashions. Not only do these look really silly - I mean look at them, they look like half the shoe is missing! - they cannot be in any way comfortable, nor can it be good for your feet. What if you run into a nail or broken glass on our night out on the town with these?
#6: LEGO Shoe
Sure, these are undeniably cute, but they are, um, plastic. While there is a small bit of padding around the heel, anyone who has ever played with LEGOs knows just how hard and unforgiving that plastic really is. I can see getting them on, and maybe taking a step, but how do you walk without breaking them?
#7: Real Feet Shoes
I can only imagine the type of person that would want a pair of these shoes. Perhaps someone who wants to channel their inner hobbit or super creep, maybe? These, um, shoes, look exactly like human feet, complete with hair and everything. Yay!
#8: Cardboard Shoes
If you are truly concerned about the environment, you should check out these chic, but awful-to-wear cardboard heels. Okay, this is ridiculous. For one, how do you avoid paper cuts? And for two, I mean, it's cardboard, how is it supposed to hold something up that weighs more than ten pounds?
#9: Bondage Shoes
No pain, no gain right? That is the message of choice with the all metal so called bondage shoes. It takes a key to open them, so be careful about who you give that key too. These things look pretty wretched, so if I were you, I might keep the key to myself, and maybe just, um, look at these shoes.
#10: Roman, Um Stilettos?
To me, those looks like someone walking on stilts that are strapped on via ribbons. This cannot be comfortable and anyone who can stand up, let alone walk in them, is either truly talented, or has a very high tolerance for pain. Morton's Nueroma Shoes http://www.mortonsneuromablog.org/
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